“Husbands, love your wives…” writes Paul in Ephesians 5:25. He doesn’t demand that we obey them. Nor does he demand we put the toilet seat down, or always agree with them, or buy them expensive jewellery. We are to love them.
But how? He continues “…as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…”
What if I’m single?
Jesus and Paul, just to take a couple of well-known guys worth emulating, both spent their ministry on earth as single guys. And they both went out of their way to encourage and affirm marriage – we don’t have to be married to celebrate with our friends who are.
So let’s pray for and support our married friends – and let them know that we take joy in their happiness, regardless of how much we wish for such a relationship ourselves.
He sets the standard of sacrificial love that men are to show their wives. And he shows us what is at stake: if we fail to love our wives, we undermine the whole witness of the church. We actually compromise our ability to preach the gospel – marriage is to be a platform for showing the selfless love of God – and when we fail to love our wives, we turn our backs on an opportunity to preach the gospel through what we do. If we are not prepared to preach the gospel with our actions, our words sound trite, shallow and hypocritical.
Valentines’ Day is just another day. But it’s a good opportunity and reminder to focus on and celebrate marriage – so how should we celebrate?
Celebrate with Prayer
Thank God for your spouse. Spend time thanking him for entrusting her to you and telling him what you appreciate about her. Pray for your marriage.
And pray for other people’s marriages too.
Celebrate with Action
Great marriages don’t happen by accident – are there practical steps you can take to help strengthen your marriage?
Why not take the opportunity to invest in some resources to help you – like going on a marriage course, or going through a book together like John Piper’s “This Momentary Marriage – A Parable Of Permanence”, or “Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God” by C J Mahaney.
Celebrate with Romance
Do something romantic to let her know how much you care.
Date Ideas
It doesn’t have to be expensive: you could…
…book a table for two at one of your favourite eating holes.
…or save money by staying in and cooking a romantic dinner together.
…take her to watch a film at the cinema.
…take her out to the theatre or to a show.
…set a budget (e.g. £5) and then shop for presents for each other in a pound or charity shop.
…take her for chilled picnic at Porchester Castle.
…play photo bingo*.
…go to visit somewhere that was particularly significant in your relationship.
Local venues
What about childcare?
Want to go out, but worried about your kids? There are people at church who have already volunteered to babysit – most of the members of YA and several others – contact Geoff Youngs or Becky Tucker for more details. (See church directory for contact details).
Celebrate with Words
Make sure you actually tell her that you love her. Don’t leave her to guess. And don’t tell her it’s because she’s the most beautiful woman in the world – even if she is now, she won’t always be. And don’t say it’s because she’s smart or funny, because that stuff fades too. And don’t say it’s because of what she does.
Tell her it’s because you’ve chosen her. Because you’re committed to her. You love her and there is nothing that she or anyone else can do has the power to stop you.
* Photo bingo is game you decide a list of photos (in advance) that you want to take during the outing and then try to tick them all off. e.g. You both kissing in front of a fountain. Each of you with someone in the background wearing a red coat. Trying on clothes in a shop that you’d never buy in a million years. The weirdest pair of sunglasses you can find. etc
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